Stoic Swag Daddy Makoto Yuki and His Harem-ific Antics
by Clintonificent
Summary: Oh, no! Makoto Yuki started too many social links, and he has to bear the consequences! Will he keep all his super awesome waifus? We he lose the love(s) of his life, as well as maybe a few fingers. Find out in this chronicle of the antics of brooding bluenette playboy Makoto Yuki! May contain lemon in future chapters, but I don't know. Rated M to be safe.
1. Swag Daddy Makoto

The worst day of Makoto Yuki's life happened on 24 December 2009.

Okay, maybe it wasn't the worst day of his life, but it certainly ranked up pretty damn high in the list.

_Damn it, _Makoto cursed himself and the fate that was presented before him.

_Why did I fall in love with ALL of those girls?!_

*FLASHBACK! WOO!*

_23 December 2009_

Makoto was lounging around in the Iwatodai dormitory lobby. Mitsuru, Yukari, and Fuuka were in the room with him as well. He was insanely bored, and tired out from the training in Tartarus, the rewarding, yet tiresome bonds with his classmates and dorm-mates, and the decision about what to do with Ryoji weighing on his mind, he did not want to be bothered.

Except by, perhaps, a certain red-eyed Shiba Inu.

"Arf!" The ghost-white Koromaru barked at Makoto. Makoto had learned by this point in time that the bark was a cry for attention, a desperate cry for that something that he needed so badly in his pet-receiving, cat-chasing, Shadow-killing lifestyle.

A walk. Didn't expect that, did you?

"Arf!" Koromaru continued his bark. The panting face of that dog elated Makoto.

"Hey, little Koro-chan. Want to go on a walk?"

The Shiba Inu barked in agreement. Makoto sometimes felt he could understand Koromaru more than the others. A dog can better portray his feelings than his fellow SEES members. Even Junpei and his blunt perversion was not enough.

However, a much more interesting commotion was happening around Makoto.

Three young girls, startled and blushing, all stood up with lightning speed. One was a statley woman with beautiful red hair, one was a cheerful girl with a pink sweater and cute brown eyes, and another with short green hair and petite stature.

"I'll walk with you too, Koro-chan!"

Despite their wildfire blushes, Makoto was still in the impression that they just _really _wanted to walk with Koromaru.

"Well, how about we all go together?" Makoto responded to the commotion.

Well, they didn't expect _that. _

"Um, okay."

*LATER...DURING THE LONG-AWAITED WALKING OF THE KORO-CHAN*****

The three girls barely spoke to one another as Koromaru took the lead, with Makoto following closely behind. They didn't go along for the ride just for the bonding time with the wonder dog that was Koromaru. Mitsuru, Yukari, and Fuuka direly needed to discuss their plans for Christmas Eve with their shared boyfriend, Makoto.

Well, they didn't know that he was shared amongst themselves, and with a few others at school and even with a realm between mind and matter. Each of the three thought they had Makoto all to themselves. Makoto loved all of them, and spent as much time as possible with each of them, as well as Aigis, Yuko, Chihiro, and Elizabeth. He couldn't bear to abandon one of them, especially since they had such a strong bond and he had to face them every single day.

So it was a mix of love and fear of not being loved.

Woah, that was deep. Makoto's going to have to write that one down for his novel.

They had reached the shrine, and Koromaru had run off to fool around in the grass or whatever. Makoto couldn't focus with the raw amount of _women _that were sitting on the tiny bench with him. Somehow, Mitsuru, Yukari, and Fuuka had all squeezed onto the bench, after a wordless, punch-less fight about who got to sit directly next to Makoto. Apparently the winners were Mitsuru and Yukari. Fuuka, unfortunately was kind of forced to the edge of the bench. Fuuka, of course, still sought to move Mitsuru and Yukari.

Normally, all three girls were big believers in personal space and no PDA. However, when it came to Makoto Yuki, and when it was drawing close to the most important night for couples in Japan, the gloves were off.

They must have spent fifteen minutes just sitting there in complete silence, with occasional bouts of awkward, arbitrary small talk. Finally, Yukari and Fuuka both piped up.

"W-We'll go play with Koro-chan."

Mitsuru blushed, as Makoto smiled innocently, still not quite grasping the situation.

Mitsuru couldn't contain her emotion and anticipation anymore. Instead of actually saying any words, she just took Makoto and kissed him.

Surprised yet joyed, Makoto just sat back and took the kiss. However, one worry ran through his mind.

_Oh, god, the others better not see this._

Makoto jinxed it.

He _fucking _jinxed it.


	2. Swag Daddy Makoto II: Swag Harder

**A/N: Oh, by the way. For this story's purposes, Aigis was never injured in the fight with Ryoji. Sometimes you gotta retcon shit. You just gotta. **

*PREVIOUSLY ON STOIC SWAG DADDY MAKOTO YUKI AND HIS HAREM-IFIC ANTICS*

Nothing really happened of note, just Koro-chan being adorable, the SEES girls being lovey-dovey, and Makoto being an oblivious idiot. Oh, and Mitsuru kissed Makoto.

WAIT, MITSURU KIS-

23 December 2009

Everything had happened in a mad blur. Mitsuru had just kissed Makoto. Not that Makoto minded that, Makoto and Mitsuru had done more scandalous things than that, and he quite enjoyed the kiss.

However, the planets aligned at this moment.

Usually when you hear the planets have aligned, something awesome happens. You get the girl of your dreams (Already happened to Makoto. In fact it was _girls_. As in _plural)_, you get lots of money (Check, a million yen from kicking Shadow ass in Tartarus), or you become super smart (Genius level, you plebeians).

In this case, however, it was a bad omen.

"Mitsuru-san!"

Interrupting the passionate kiss was the voice of a certain blonde-haired robot. Aigis had apparently followed Makoto and his girlfriends to the Naganaki Shrine.

Mitsuru jumped away from me and furiously blushed. Makoto did too. Don't ever let anyone tell you Makoto never blushes. He blushed right here, dammit.

"Mitsuru-san, your heart rate is rapidly rising. Were you trying to mate with Makoto-san?"

Mitsuru eyes shot WIDE open.

"N-No! Listen Aigis, you must be malfunctioning. Makoto and I weren't doing anything."

"Then why were the two of you embracing and touching lips in an affectionate matter? You also thrusted your tongue into the mouth of Makoto, and your hormone readings tell me you were intending to procreate."

Mitsuru didn't even put up a fight anymore.

"Okay, just listen Aigis! J-Just forget what you saw here! I-I'll disable you permanently if you tell anyone!"

That was a _serious _threat. Aigis paid no mind.

"You have no true intention to do so, Mitsuru-san."

Yukari, Fuuka, and Koromaru came back into the grand scene.

_Oh, not good._

Well, Koromaru was never bad news, but Yukari and Fuuka arriving on site, uh...

"What's going on here?" Yukari inquired.

Mitsuru blushed and Aigis stared blankly, just like a robot. What's new?

Makoto decided to clear up the situation.

"Mitsuru and Aigis were discussing their plans for Ryoji."

_~Genius~_

Yukari and Fuuka were downtrodden at the reception of that. They didn't want to think about such things at the time.

"Hey, let's not talk about that right now, Makoto." Fuuka said.

*ZOOM IN ON TEXT*

Let's not talk about that right now, Makoto

Right now, Makoto.

_Makoto._

No honorific. Fuuka spilled the beans.

For those who are not Japanese, or those nerd Westerners who play our country's RPGs and watch anime, not putting an honorific at the end of a person of the opposite gender's name implies an intimate relationship.

Yukari and Mitsuru, as well as Aigis a bit, were taken back by Fuuka's blurt.

"Why are you referring to Makoto without an honorific, Fuuka-chan?" Yukari stated.

Oh my Gods, she made the same mistake.

_Geez, you are all horrible at this thing._

Yukari realized her mistake and restated her question while adding a half-hearted _-kun _to the end of Makoto's name.

After several minutes of terrible silence and awkwardness, Makoto spoke up.

"Hey, we should probably head back, guys...The Dark Hour is going to begin soon."

Koromaru, chipping up the situation, promptly barked and they all headed back.

The silence was still dreadful, though.

And Makoto was pretty sure he was walking with three young women with their cheeks on fire. And then there was Aigis.

*BACK IN MAKOTO's ROOM*

Makoto was laying in his bed, reflecting on the situation, and what he was going to do. He not only had _four _girlfriends at SEES (Aigis wasn't nearly as blushy and wishy-wishy as the others, but he could sense that bond as soon as he saw her in the dress at Yakushima.), but two girlfriends at school, Yuko and Chihiro, **and** a certain eccentric Velvet Room attendant.

This Christmas was going to be an ordeal.

*Knock Knock*

Makoto answered the door.

It was Yukari.

"Hey, could we talk for a moment, please?" Yukari shyly cooed.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Like, privately, with the door closed?"

_Oh, hell no. _


	3. Swag Daddy Makoto 3: Swagdust Crusaders

Let's zoom away from that craziness for a moment.

And into more craziness!

IT'S STOIC SWAG DADDY MAKOTO YUKI AND HIS HAREM-IFIC ANTICS PART III: SWAGDUST CRUSADERS!

It was an ordinary day in November. Ordinary days were the most prone to sudden outbursts of insanity as caused by the girls of Tatsumi Port Island.

Ahh, Tatsumi Port Island, the place where the air is clean, the grass is green, and the girls are more yandere than most BDSM dominatrices.

But let's not talk about that, shall we? It hurts Makoto's upper back more than when Yukari really digs her nails...yeah, OK, that's not helping.

Exhausted because of his rampant unmitigated Social Linking and his exploration of Tartarus, Makoto was very tired.

The fatigue of Makoto didn't make his girlfriends tired as well, however.

It made them hype.

Just like it always happens when he spends too long in Tartarus looking for those damn rocks or whatever that Elizabeth (Also his girlfriend) keeps asking him to bring her, he's tired for a few days, then gets sick. Sick with what?

Doesn't matter. It just matters that the girls get hype when they see Makoto sick.

I believe it is called schadenfreude, isn't it? The unconditional feeling of pleasure when others are in pain and misery? Ah, yes, yes. Mitsuru wouldn't call it that, however. She calls it some weird French phrase that sounds like a sex thing.

It probably is a sex thing.

Laying on his bed, Makoto quietly makes gasps of exasperation due to the fact that his head hurts, his back hurts, his stomach hurts, and he doesn't have his music and earbuds with him.

Eh, it doesn't matter. Mass Destruction isn't exactly the best thing to listen to when you're sick.

_God, I really want to be left al-_

KNOCK. KNOCK.

KNOCK. KNOCK.

It gets louder and louder.

"Who's there?" cries Makoto.

He probably shouldn't have done that.

Now they know where he is.

They can track him.

The door opens, and its Yukari, looking oddly happy that Makoto is sick. She has a tray of soup and crackers in her hand.

CUE CHEESY SPOON FEEDING OF HOT SOUP INTO MAKOTO'S MOUTH

"Open wide, Makoto!"

"Aaaaaahhhh!" cries the poor swag daddy himself, as the soup scalds his tongue.

"You know why it's so hot, Makoto?"

Makoto stammered while Yukari looked at him strangely.

"B-Because, you made it, and you're so...hot?"

Christ, he might as well be a wheel of cheese after that one.

Yukari just giggles.

"Thank you! And close, I made it with all my love!"

Two wheels of cheese. Who the hell needs two wheels of cheese?

Makoto stares into the metaphorical abyss as Yukari keeps feeding him boiling hot soup.

Meanwhile, another girl decides to enter the room.

_Oh god oh god oh god oh god no its not her why her does she have soup oh gatdammit she has soup_

Fuuka walks in with a mighty big bowl of soup. He's not even hungry, this is just cruel and unusual punishment.

Especially when it's Fuuka who made it. Makoto shudders at the thought.

"Makoto-chan, are you feeling alright? You want some soup?"

"He's full, **thank you very much.**"

Holy shit, was that Yukari?

Yeah, that was Yukari. Why did Makoto S-Link her? She's a threat to his own safety!

Fuuka is getting a black eye. Like, there's no avoiding it.

And then, Mitsuru comes through the door with some fancy French soup thing.

What is this, some gatdam clown car filled with chicks?

They all start arguing as Makoto prays to whichever God that will listen to make it end.

_Smokey the Bear's life lesson #1. Never S-Link more than one girl at a time. _

_Like no, seriously. It's not worth it. _

_Why do I feel like a silver-haired goofball two years from now is going to encounter the same problem? Why didn't those two other guys and that girl that Igor mentioned S-Link anyone? They just fought demons and one of them killed Hitler, they didn't have to put up with this yandere harem. _

END OF SWAGDUST CRUSADERS ARC

**A/N: Sorry for getting it out like several months late. I got burned out on writing stuff because I was writing essays and junk left and right for classes, and I was sick of even typing or writing anything. Sorry, guys, I'm the worst. Also, as you can tell by the title, I really like JoJo. Like REALLY like JoJo. **


End file.
